Saturday, November 8, 2008

He Forgot That "Asshole" Has a Silent "e"

For a couple of weeks now, first grade has been an obnoxious amount of the Silent "e" rule.  We sing songs about it.  We practice it in reading group with ridiculous stories about how one might "bake a cake on a lake with a snake" or "tape a shape of a kite while awake in space."  Uh-huh.  Kind of like the Harry Potter series, gripping, only ... not.

So when Parent Teacher conferences began this morning, I did what most teachers do:  inundate parents with paperwork and examples and assessments and journals and test-scores and rubrics and ... did I mention the journal?

So there's me, in my most professional demeanor, behind my kidney table, work sprawled out, presenting to Little Boy Blue's parents.

Me:  I'd like to share with you some of Little Boy Blue's writing samples now.  Here (flipping pages) are our daily journals.  Each morning we (something catches my eye ... did that just say "Bitch?" ... no, couldn't have) begin with a writing prompt (flipping through more pages ... there it is again, it says "Bich" ... oh, it must mean "rich," or "big,"...) and students respond (THAT'S IT!).  

Me:  ?  

Parents:  ?

Journal:  

Dear Mrs. Just-Jamie,

Bich  Asshol Bich Bich Ass


Yup.  And the shit of it all was this, he didn't even freakin' remember the silent "e" in Ass-holE.

Sheez.  Some teacher I am.

(In Little Boy Blue's defense, I have yet to teach the trigraph "tch.")

***************************************************

FYI:  Said journal went home as a souvenir for Little Boy Blue to explain.  We'll see what he has to write about this week.   

33 comments:

Lori said...

bet those parents were shocked!

Amber M. said...

Ha! I bet that is the first grade version of the widely-known "Shock and Awe."

:-)

chris said...

That is too funny! Love those teaching moments. ;)

Lindsey said...

OH MY WORD! That is HYSTERICAL~! I am so glad you shared that. Seriously. There are some days that I miss all that teaching....

Candy said...

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH@!!!!!!!!


HAHAHAHAAHAHHHAHH!!!!!

I seriously don't know how I will respond when my boys start writing these words- and spell them correctly.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

This is why a blog is good--if you didn't have a blog this story would have only entertained you and your closest friends--this way we all get to laugh.

Lisa@verybusymomwith4 said...

Too funny :)

Trish said...

I wonder if those parents ARE shocked? I bet not. Next week the journal will read that asshol teacher of mine got me in trouble.

Be glad you aren't teaching High School, it might have involved a gun.

Sheesh.

Karen said...

Niiiiiiiice. You know kids say what they hear at home. I'm wondering if they just refer to each other as such, or if they specifically say that about teachers.

Hilary said...

That's hilarious.. thanks for sharing. :)

Shamelessly Sassy said...

stories like these ALWAYS crack me up. Lovely blog, by the way. I can't wait to see what he writes in the future.

The Whitsitt Family said...

Wow, this gave me a good laugh! I would love to have seen the look on the parents face when you showed them.

Amy

Chrissy said...

Ha! Oh, that is the last think I would have expected from a first grader...I would have totally flipped my lid!

Kelli said...

Oh my! Your spin on the silent e is hilarious though. That will be interesting to see how his parents respond.

LaskiGal said...

Geesh. Kids are so lam. I can't understand why they don't understand the rul of the silent e. I mean com on already . . .

I miss journaling. The stories those kids told were just so dang entertaining.

carrie said...

I bet his parents keep it forever. I would. !:)

Tiaras and Tantrums said...

1st grade??? humm- what is said at his house? Sad!!!!!!!

MelADramatic Mommy said...

First graders read your blog?

Burgh Baby said...

I fear that will be precisely the sort of thing that Alexis will do. It's so much more embarrassing than the traditional yelling f*ck at the top of your lungs in the middle of the grocery store/family function/worst place possible.

Kind of impressed you didn't lose your shizznet right then and there. Good little professional teacher, you!

Krystyn said...

Wow! First grade! I'm curious to see what the kid says!

Hopefully, he apologizes...or is it apologizs?

Kori said...

I just alughed so hard I peed a little.

Mary said...

That is hilarious! So glad you shared :)

CC said...

I am so loving this story!!!!! Ha ha!! That's some decent phonetic spelling going on there. Pbbbbb!

Lisa said...

I miss teacher stories. Thanks for sharing yours - that's a classic!

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

This is the best teacher story I have ever heard. OMG.

San Diego Momma said...

Oh my gosh!

Little Boy Blue must know the people at the French bakery that made our Bith cake!

clarissa said...

OMG? Is this kid bitter much?!

The Girl Next Door said...

Handled lik a tru bichin teacher.

Jennifer said...

OMG!! i'm laughing... but only b/c i wonder what my son or kids in his class have written in their journals!?? makes you wonder.

i'm not sure if you have heard of any of the Little Johnny jokes, but this kid reminds me of that kid. ;)

wow.

the things you see, hear and learn as a teacher of first graders.

unbelievable.

good luck.

xoxoxo

raino said...

kids say the darndest things hun?!

Jason, as himself said...

As a fellow first grade teacher, I'm just impressed that he used the letters and sounds that he knew to write words with meaning.

Your next lesson needs to be all about frequently used swear words so they can all write them correctly.

And Jamie? It is quite apparent that I have not read enough of your archives. I did not realize that you are a teacher! Sorry I'm so dense.

katydidnot said...

holy fuk.

katydidnot said...

i mean holy futck,