Thursday, December 31, 2009

Volume Control


For a girl who sets the timer on the dishwasher so as not to hear it, and a girl who keeps the television at mice-like-decibels; a girl who goes into a different part of the house when the washer/dryer are running, and a girl who thinks that taking a bath would be perfect if only the water didn't make so much noise... it has been a noisy year.

I've turned up the volume.
And then?
Bought new speakers so as to make it even louder.
And then?
Bought a mega bass to amplify the commotion.
2009 has been deafening.

A welcome sound in my new journey.
Noise.
Racket.
Clammer.
Turmolt.
Commotion.

Anything to keep me from...
Listening.
Feeling.
Healing.
Facing.
Owning.

So, 2010, here we are.
You and me.
Deejay's not playing the same song.

2010 -- Resolve.

Mute.
Time to mute the clamor. Say no. Disappoint.
Walk away. Let go. Close doors.

Disc Select.
Select you. Select one. Select calm. Select quiet. Select games, crafts, laughing, reading, cuddling, patience, joy.

Pause.
Pause. Be patient. Wonder. Pray. Reflect. Slow down... slow it down girl.

Repeat.
Then do it again. Slower. With more kindness. Kindness for the girl you once were, the woman you are yet to become.

Shuffle.
Have fun. Shake it up. Relax. Dance. Smile. Play.

Source.
Get to know your source. YOUR source. YOUR soul. YOUR God. YOUR strength. YOUR peace.

Praying for a quiet melody in 2010.

12 comments:

Jason, as himself said...

Brilliantly spoken. On so many levels.

Happy 2010 my friend.

Huckdoll said...

Beautiful. I loved this.

Well, sweetheart ... it's not only a new year, but a new decade. If you read my post from yesterday, the very last line is:

"Tis our decade. Lets make it matter"

You're included in that "our" thing.

I'm so happy to be on this journey with you and I know you're going to find that quiet melody in the coming year.

<3

Kristen said...

Beautiful Jamie. Here's to you finding just who you are in 2010. Thanks for taking us all along on the ride! :)

happy New Year Friend!

Miss M said...

I remember the same feelings after I got divorced. I didn't really "feel" it until much later on... because I was doing anything I could to NOT feel it.

But when I did, it was over quick and not as bad as I expected :)

Happy New Year!!

katydidnot said...

what the hell? you blogged TWO DAYS IN A ROW?

what the hell?

i like your be it resolveds.

Trish said...

A little noise, a little quiet, a little in between. This is what a life is made of. It's all good james. It's all good. And weirdly, this amazingly insightful post tells me I don't need to worry at all.

Cheri @ Blog This Mom!® said...

You are so beautiful and brilliant.

I'm glad I get to sit by you sometimes.

Both Sides of Ben Marlan said...

i love that song!

prashant said...

I didn't really "feel" it until much later on... because I was doing anything I could to NOT feel it.

How to make a website

San Diego Momma said...

Nothing wrong with playing a bunch of different songs before you find the melody that best resonates.

Nothing wrong at all.

You are right where you're supposed to be.

Krystyn said...

How do you do it? So deep about something I never thought could be deep.

Katy said...

Absolutely brilliant and profound. I feel lucky to call you my friend. Happy new year!