Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Why I'm Sitting on the Couch on a Beautiful Day

Dear Parents of Little Surf-Rat Toddler,

Do you have any idea just how cute I find your baby girl? With her 18-24 months skinny jeans, her checkered vans, and her silky, pink hoody? Clearly, you know she's cute. Clearly, she knows you know she's cute. And clearly this little peanut is winning battles at home. Her wispy bed-headed hair all tricked out with hints of, "No, dat my hay-er mama." "No bwush my hay-er." I just loved her instantly.

Which is why I scooped her up from the eight-kicking-legs of four-swinging-children at varying speeds and intervals. Twice. Her little diaper-padded, skinny jeaned bottom was toddling in a game of swing Frogger, and how she survived without getting cartoon-jettisoned over the monkey bars is beyond me. Which is why I toted her on my hip for a moment while I searched for the parent who must have been having a major emergency elsewhere with her other darling children.

Searching for the owner of the toddler, and pushing my own two kiddos on the swing, I carefully placed Little Miss Surfer Baby in a kinder spot on the playground. Until, she came back to the spider legs of the swings.

Scooping her up, again as her hair is grazed by a giant pumping of the feet, where is your mommy?, I ask?
Dat. Bah. La-lee-fing, she says (or something like that).
Dude, where is this kids' mommy? I wonder.

I begrudgingly place her down again near the slide, fearful of looking like some kidnapper. When sure enough a school-aged boy playing a game of I'm not watching where I'm running smacks straight into my new little surfer friend.

And...cue concerned parent. Here you come. Racing (well, trying to race in your Victoria's Secret lace-up ankle boots) to her rescue.

And cue...dirty look. To me. WTH?

And cue...me wondering if it was your Blackberry or your stilettos in the sand that impeded your graceful parenting.

And cue...school aged kids' mom getting a mouthful of why weren't you watching your kid as he bulldozed over my baby?

And cue...jaw-dropping of school aged kids' mom.

And cue...me convincing the kids that watching Sponge Bob, at home is way more fun than swinging.

11 comments:

Burgh Baby said...

People suck. The end.

Cheri @ Blog This Mom!® said...

Can I join you in the pineapple house? I will come bearing great tidings of M&Ms.

Miss M said...

I never really liked the playground, I always just pretended to. Swings + toddlers = disaster...

Jasmine said...

Ummm... just an obstacle to living in *city* where you live... That never happens over here, at least not in stilettos, maybe Uggs. : )

Krystyn said...

Serious parenting fail...not yours. That just pisses me off! I'm glad you were there to help her this time, but what about next time?

Tiffany said...

Oh, the playground... It can be quite the study in humanity or lack there of. The nerve of neglectful parents never ceases to amaze me!

Courtney said...

I like the new pics at the top. Happy new year!!

katydidnot said...

this was amazingly well written. i fell in love with her wispy hay-er and skinny jeans bottom.

i'm a tiny bit surprised you didn't get arrestd. and a little bit surprised the victoria's secret mom didn't ask if you could babysit for a while while she went to a club.

Dr. Phil Kumar said...

It may almost time for you to get a house and a yard with your own play structure.

Trish said...

Crud. That was me. Mom. I was signed in as one of my clients. Ooops.

prashant said...

I never really liked the playground, I always just pretended to. Swings + toddlers = disaster...

How to make a website