Tuesday, July 1, 2008

The Dancing Monkey

My choices are simple:  get a backbone, or dance like a monkey?  What would you choose?

Here's our morning routine:

Chase wants to eat for breakfast, "the yogurt thing at the PAC" (which is our old gym).  Okie doke.  So I pour some granola into the bottom of a bowl, throw some yogurt on top, add some slices of whatever fruit we have (damn-it, I didn't grocery shop ... if I pick out the dried strawberries from a box of cereal, does that count?).  Ta-da!  The yogurt thing.

But then, he didn't want it mixed and stirred.  Shit.  Now I've done it.  The whining and tears ensue.  

What would you choose:  Backbone, or dance like a monkey?

I chose to dance.  So I ate the damn yogurt thing, and started over, this time not mixing it.

Oh, but I forgot, he doesn't like his juice cold, or his yogurt, or his freakin' ice cream.  Uh-huh.  So I warmed a bit of apple juice in the microwave, and added it to his mixture, thus making it about room temperature.  

I know, a f*ing dancing monkey.

dancing monkey

But that's just the first kid.  At breakfast.

And so it goes...

Tatum wants a turkey wrap, for breakfast, with mayonnaise and tomatoes.  And she wants orange juice, without pulp, and a bowl of cereal.

Then there are lunches.

I pack two different lunches.  Most twins compare number of crackers and sizes of fruit to make sure their tortured parent makes them exactly equal, not mine.  

He wants yogurt.
She wants cheese.
He wants almond butter and jelly.
She wants turkey.
He likes apple sauce.
She doesn't.
He wants Hawaiian bread.
She wants salad.
He wants a muffin.
She wants that thing that Samantha had in her lunch box.  You know, the little balls, that are different colors, that are in a little bag, that are purple and pink (?).

What would you choose:  Backbone, or dance like a monkey?

And on and on we play the game.  Don't even get me started on dinner.  Remember the dinosaur nuggets?  And I know, I know, just make one meal.  If they're hungry enough, they'll eat it.  It worked for you, right?  Yeah, shut up.  

Maybe I just like being a pathetic dancing monkey.  Just think at the extra calories I'm burning. 


Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

Frickin' Samantha's mother put Trix in her lunch.

Can we just pick the nits from each other's hair right now?

Lori said...

I let Blake pick what he wants for breakfast and sometimes lunch, but dinner I usually try to make one thing and then alter slightly (at least I know he will eat just about any protein served)

what about giving them 3 options and that's it?

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

At least if they want the same thing every day, you can work with that. What I always hated is that they want "something," but they couldn't think of what it was, they just knew it wasn't whatever I was offering.

So about age 5 I started letting them get their own damn lunch!

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

At least if they want the same thing every day, you can work with that. What I always hated is that they want "something," but they couldn't think of what it was, they just knew it wasn't whatever I was offering.

So about age 5 I started letting them get their own damn lunch!

Krystyn said...

Before I even got to the last line, I was thinking, well, she's getting some good exercise.

Sometimes, it's so much easier to dance then to get a backbone! We all do it and we've all done it!

Lisa@verybusymomwith4 said...

My saying 'you get what you get and you don't throw a fit' ;)

But then I have four--can you imagine catering to 4 different needs--me either ;)

Melanie said...

Sometimes I dance. But not as much now that he's older. We just had this conversation with him that The Diner is now closed.

Instead of asking "what do you want?" I ask "do you want A or B?" and it's taking less and less time for him to pout and whine.

They'll get it. Stay strong girl! They outnumber you but you're bigger!

Kathryn said...

Wow. You are MUCH nicer than I am. My kids eat what I give them. I'm not a short-order cook.
Aren't I a freaking bag?

Misty said...

I agree. You are WAY, WAY, wwwaaaaaayyyyy more willing to dance for your kids than I am willing to dance for mine. But hey. We all do what works or what we need to. So do what you wanna do, and who cares if some one does some thing else.

Back to work for me.

Stephanie said...

That seems like an awful lot of work! Haha! Hmmmm...I think right now I am lucky that my daughter is not old enough to talk and just likes everything. At least you are getting a good workout though! ;)

Denise said...

YOU are a much nicer mommy than me. I've started telling them they can eat what I make or not have anything at all!

4 Little Men & Twins said...

sometimes you just have to dance. :)


Wendi said...

I am with you Jamie.
Shall we start giving dance lessons?
I am really good at it.

Angela said...

Well it is good that they are eating.


Lindsey said...


I'm totally a dancing monkey:)

MM doesn't eat meat. AT. ALL. EVER.

She wants fruit. Lots of it.

Supper time is hard. Now I know why. I'm too busy dancing:) HA!

I worried about this for awhile, discussed it with the doc, and she assures me that it will improve with time. I'm not all about forcing her to eat what we eat.

dkuroiwa said...

so..i'm thinking that the warm fuzzy feeling from your last post is...over?? :-D
dancing monkey...that's good.
reminds me of a t-shirt i saw once over here (the "land of stupid English on t-shirts")..it said...
"These are the day of our lifes...we are dancing monkeys."
I'll see if i can get you one!!!
until then...dance dance dance!!!

Corky said...

Hi jamie

Its Connie just popped in to say Hi and read my blog too! its not as cute as yours :)

Love Aunt Connie (aka) Corky

Lisa said...

We went out to lunch with friends today & when Lulu spit the entire contents of her mouth into a napkin (rather than me picking it up off of the floor) I gave her a chocolate chip granola bar to shut her up. Yes, I'm a monkey too!

Kristen said...

Well, I guess its dance and be happy, right!

Any hey, who said dancing is a bad thing!

San Diego Momma said...

Ahh, I know it well.

I'm the butt monkey.

Jennifer H said...

I dance, plenty.

But I heard Julia Roberts say one time that "it's a kitchen, not a diner." I wish I said stuff like that to my kids more often.

Courtney said...

Hey dancing money, have you tried pretending to eat their food before you give it to them? :)

Sue said...

I know that dance!

My Ice Cream Diary said...

Um, I've seen how amazingly skinny you are in your photos. I'm thinking I need to give up my "Just eat it!!!" routine and start a shaking my big monkey butt.

tommie said...

I must be dancing too.....

Jennifer said...

when you find a place to get that backbone.. please, OH please tell me where i can get one too!! :)

seriously who doesn't dance?? besides Nanny 911. and if "you" are out there and you have some advice to share please come by and give me all your wonderful secret tips!!


good luck... it will get better... this too shall pass... twin mom motto!!