Thursday, July 31, 2008

The Evolution of a Hole

Hmmm, I don't remember seeing that hole under the plug ever before ...

Eeek!  Such a wuss.  I'm shaking...

Oh NO he didn't!

Oh YES he did!

Bye-Bye Beyotch!

Because mice totally can't chew through painter's tape, right?

Monday, July 28, 2008

Caption This GIVEAWAY!

So what if I stole this idea from her, isn't that what this blogdom is all about, sharing?

So, here's the deal.  In the spirit of giving, and to honor the memory of Randy Pausch, I will giveaway a copy of his best-seller The Last Lecture (just as soon as I finish reading it).

Please caption the above scene.  I'm pretty much looking to spit coffee/wine or whatever else I drink (so, coffee/wine) onto my keyboard.  Trish (AKA, my Mom) from This is Trish's Blog will be making the final decision (since she gifted me the book for my birthday).  

Hey lurkers, wouldn't this be a good time for you to come out, come out wherever you are...?

Winner will be chosen August 2, 2008 12:00 p.m. PST.  

Saturday, July 26, 2008

A Birthday Gift

While everyone lay sleeping in our quiet house, I have time to ponder the last 365 days.  In a few minutes, it will be my birthday.  While I have many things for which to be thankful, I must say these moments, these exact moments, when everyone lay sleeping in our quiet house, is most precious.  

Thank you God.
Thank you Karma.
Thank you Family.
Thank you Husband.
Thank you Friends.
Thank you Blog-Friends.
Thank you In-Laws.
Thank You Strangers.
Thank You Coffee and Wine Makers.
Thank You World for all of my blessings.

Here are my Two Favorite Blessings...

(Taken in the hotel, after a long day of swimming.  They almost never sleep together, so this was a rare treat to find them so cuddled and twin-like.)

Because Of You...

Because of you millions are inspired to lead their lives with more integrity, appreciating the moments we are given.  Thank you Mr. Pausch, for the life-changing reminders.  I will try to be less of an Eeyore, and more of a Tigger, because of you.

Journey well.  

Monday, July 21, 2008

A Segue And a Pear Tree

You know when you're reading something, a novel, a newspaper article, a blog, and you get a couple paragraphs in ... and you think, what did I just read?  'Cause I was totally just thinking about the time Matt Damon was all, "Hey Jamie, wanna go grab a drink?"  And I was like, "Oh, Matt Damon, come on, we're both married."  And he was all, "You know, you don't have to call me Matt Damon anymore.  You can call me Mattie."  You know that feeling?  Yeah, me too.  Or you're driving home and as you pull into your driveway you think, how did I just get home?  'Cause I totally only remember when Matt Damon was all broken down on the side of the freeway, and I was all heroic and I offered to give him a ride (insert comedic drum sound here)...

Anyways, I'm kind of there right now.  It's not a bad place to be, except you forget to remember that you're talking to a grandpa about how successful his son's adoption process went, whilst your own kids are running into people's sunburned legs.  

"Pardon me.  I'm sorry.  I was day dreaming.  How's that coffee feel?  On your leg?  Aloe vera?"

TWO adoption stories were gift-wrapped beautifully today, and given to me with shiny, pretty bows.  TWO beautiful children who were scooped up into loving families through the miracle of adoption.  I think I'm walking around with the Scarlet Letter on me, only my Letter A is screaming ADOPTION.

There, I said it.

I want to.

Really, I do.

As for the husband... he indulges my fantasy every now and then.  It's a start.  Like today when he complimented the brown skinned, chubby-legged, weeble wobble, gorgeous baby to her proud (adoptive) parents.  It's a tease.  It gets me fired up.  

Speaking of gift wrap... (nice segue), look what I won over at Wendi 's place...

No, not that adorable little boy up there...

Look down here...

That cool Duke visor on my little girlie (she was temporarily borrowing it).  Yup, I wish I had taken a photo of Wendi's lovely handwriting and pretty gift wrap, but I was too eager to rip it open and place it on my noggin.  Thanks Wendi!  I love it!  And the gummy bears and sour worms are DELISH.  I know they were for the kids.  I shared them, sort of.  

One more camera phone picture of my Hula Boy.

The back is feeling much better!  Yay. Hope you all are enjoying your summer.  Thank goodness for frequent flyer miles and hotel points and rental car points and ... 

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Maui Wowie Bo Bowie

We're here.  It's lovely.  
I forgot the USB cord to download pics from my real camera, but here are a few from my phone.

Nothing like vacationing with your buddies, even if you're three.
Three, three year olds, and an inflatable turtle.  What else could you want?  (Don't answer that.)

So, guess where I am right now?  Go ahead, guess.  The pool?  Beach-side?  Having a fruity cocktail?  No.  Feet up, pillows propped, in the room.  Karma is a bitch.  It is.  Don't know what I did but I think I need a list like the dude, well Earl, in My Name is Earl, 'cause I owe someone for something.  See, I was moving some luggage around and threw out my damn back.  Geezer.  Sheez.  Advil and Alcohol are my friends.  So, it's not all bad.

But my little lovies can not be held by their Mama, and let me just say putting on a bathing suit in positions where backs don't bend and move can be rather tricky.  Luckily our friends don't mind helping me off the toilet cause my back gave out.  Friends are good like that.

So, hopefully there will be more pics when I return.  Nap-time is almost over, and Mama needs another dose of something strong to get her a** up.  Aloha friends.  

Friday, July 18, 2008

Where Oh Where Oh Where is Jamie?

Where can Jamie be?

Blogging is truly one my favorite-ist things, next to reading all of your wonderful blogs.  But ... life has taken ahold of us and pulled me away.  Google Reader reminds me of my friends waiting, and I can't bear to "mark all as read."  I'm coming, I am.  

I feel like the flakey friend who keeps making promises she can't keep.  And I have some awards that I'm so stinkin' thrilled and honored to have received.  I really will share these.

I have a plan.

We're going on vacation -- TODAY!  It's been a long time in the planning, and I keep telling myself that I'll catch up on all of my reading, writing, and 'arithmetic in the form of reading blogs, blogging, and keeping tally of my alcoholic beverages (which may require some algebraic calculations).  

We're heading to Maui.  We're feeling very blessed to go on this vacation.  We're even going with our peeps.

Hi Peeps!

There will probably be a wee bit of this.... (beach-side)

And their son might try to pull some fancy tricks on Tatum again, like this...

I'm hoping like crazy for a free wi-fi connection.  I've been wanting to update my blog-roll, and add a new header, and read, and pass on awards.  

We'll see what happens.  Hope you and yours are enjoying your summer.  I realize how blessed we are to be taking this trip.  'Nuff said.

And to all The Bitches, I'm so sorry to be missing out on BitchHer.  You know I would have flown solo with two kids and a plane full of colicky babies to be with you... it just wasn't in my cards.  See you all when we get back.


It's 9:31 a.m. and I swear I have not packed ONE SINGLE THING yet.  Not one.  I'm so starting to panic.  OK gotta go...

Monday, July 14, 2008

Weekend Update

And, because I know you've been waiting for it, I present to you ...

The lurker's response:

"Holy moly, that is some pressure! Sorry to my fan club for the late response, we were on     vacation with no internet. 

Thanks for the rave review jame, I guess now I HAVE to drink the kool-aid and join the party ;)

So jamie is right about the neurotic part, that is what keeps telling me I am not up to par with all the fabulous writers out there that I LURK!!

So here is my proposal...

Jamie if YOU come and visit me with your kiddos and help me set it up (b/c that is the other hold up, I am SERIOUSLY computer deficient) then I will start a blog. Is it a deal?!
love you and thanks for all the sweet comments, C

P.S. to all, jamie was my partner in crime in a LOT of those crazy stories!!

So Court (AKA Lurker), as soon as I round up 3 tickets to Chi-town, I'll be there.  In the meantime, I'll give you an over-the-phone tutorial.  GET started woman!

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Dumb, Dumber, and The Dumbest Haircut Beyotch

Why?  Why am I such a sucker?  Why am I so polite, sometimes causing me to smile, bite my lip, and get exactly what I don't want?

I've actually tried to cut my kids hair myself.  I think I even do a decent job.  Kids haircuts are such a rip-off and I always walk out feeling like they cut too much and I paid too much.  But, to even out my hack-jobs, I take the kids every other haircut, and roll the dice.

Sometimes it's the over-priced Bambino's.
Sometimes it's Supercuts.
Today, it was the over-priced Kids Kuts.

As Chase jumps into the big chair...

Slacker Haircut Chic:  So Mom, what's it going to be?

Me:  I'd like you to keep it long, especially in the front.  Please don't blend it, put layers in, or use those funny scissors that sort of blend and feather the strands.  Basically just clean up the sides and back.

Me:  Oh, and please don't give him those "Dumb and Dumber" bangs.  Long in the front is just fine.  

I walk away.  I hate to hover and make their job unpleasant.  I trust that they deal with anal parents analyzing each snip.  I want to create a relationship of trust and easy-going air to the professional stylist.  

I smile politely and walk away to the miniature playhouse with Tatum.

She smacks her gum, and commences.

10 minutes later...

Slacker Haircut Chic:  What do you think, Mom?

Me:  (thinking it's a little shorter than I had hoped for, but this is a haircut after all...) Sure, looks great.  Thanks.  

I start to grab the basket of lollipops knowing the hacking is over.

SHC:  She continues to cut.  And cut.  And cut.  Then she gets out those effing, little, blended scissors and starts freaking feathering layers into the top of his head?  

I watch.  She's deliberately doing what I clearly asked her NOT to do.
She keeps freaking cutting.

The next part is where my blood starts bubbling inside.  My smile fades.  My eyes scrunch up.  My head tilts.  WHAT the HELL is she DOING?
Me:  Um, excuse me.  I know you must deal with parents who over-analyze your every move every day.  I'm sorry to add to that but, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

SHC:  She keeps cutting.  Blending.  Feathering.  Cutting.  Blending.  Feathering.

Me:  Okay lady.  You've completely turned my kids hair into a Dumb and Dumber haircut.  I asked for LONG bangs.  Why did you continue to cut?

SHC:  I think it just looks better this way.

Me:  I  happen to be his parent, and you happen to need to follow through on what a parent requests.  I asked you not to use those blendy scissor things (what the heck are those stupid scissors called anyway?).

SHC:  His hair was just thick on top.  It needed to be thinned out.

Me:  You suck lady.  His thick hair is awesome.  You suck at your job.  You suck at public relations.  You suck at listening.  You even suck at fixing your own damn stringy hair.  Why the hell did you use those scissors?

SHC:  I like to piss parents off and do exactly the opposite of what they request.  I get off on it.


Okay, okay.  I wouldn't actually treat a service provider like that.
That didn't really happen.  But in my head it went down a little like that.

Instead, I shuttered on the inside, smiled politely, and handed Chase a five dollar bill to "tip the nice lady."


Friday, July 11, 2008

Mac Daddy

I'll admit it.  I've been ignoring you, my blog friends.  Not intentionally.  It's summer.  I want to go out and play.  Then I'm really sleepy at night from the wine all of our playing, and so, I sadly ignore my busting Google Reader.  

But, I'm coming back...

Just after...

I get to know...

my new...



This guy had the honor of unveiling my new baby.
In my haste to arrive at the crack of dawn, I forgot my good camera.
Thanks Mom for waiting in line first.  Karma will get back at me.  I'll be waiting in line for Miley Cyrus tickets, or The Jonas Brothers or whoever the band of the moment happens to be for my kiddos.  Mom's are good like that.  Mine especially.  

Look at how well-behaved my kids were after being dragged out of bed to wait in line with their Mommy.  They were really sitting still, on my Mom's yoga mat ... it's just the damn camera.  Yeah, uh-huh.

Thank you to my adoring hubby for the early birthday present.  I'll all Mac Daddy'd up now.  The good news is, just as soon as I figure this thing out, I can check blogs EVERYwhere ... I think.  

Sunday, July 6, 2008

A Plea To De-Lurk My Friend

Dear Readers,

I have a favor to ask of you.  You see, I have this friend ... (don't start rolling your eyes, I'm not asking for money or a liver or anything) who I just adore.  We've been friends since somewhere between 6th and 7th grade.  She's bright, charming, funny, and has the cutest damn baby evah.  

Here's the thing.  She's a lurker.  (Gotcha' Courtney!)  She reads the blogs on my blog roll.  Uh-huh.  She LOVES you guys almost as much as I do.  She calls me from many states away, just to talk ... about blogs.  BUT, have you seen her name in your comments?  Noooo.  Have you seen a link to her blog?  Nooooo.

This is where you come in.  Please tell Courtney that she needs to start blogging.  The girl is just plain funny.  And clever.  And a little goofy.  And neurotic (oh, no, Court?  Then, what's up with the baby powder in the hair?  Huh?  Go ahead.  Prove me wrong, on your own damn blog!).  

(I swear the girl was JUST putting baby powder in her hair...)
I'm sure she has plenty of good stories to tell.  Like about the time when we snuck into a 7-11 and stole ....  Or the "blue couch" story ... Or the Friends At Thanksgiving thingies she does ... Or the time she danced like Madonna at a Catholic School with nuns ... Yeah.  There's some dirt there.

Look at what a pretty bride she was...

She made me cry at her enthusiasm...

And, did I mention the cutest baby?  Sheez.

So please, use the comments to tell her ass to stop lurking, and get blogging.  

Courtney needs a blog.  
Courtney needs a blog.  
Come on, say it with me, 
Courtney needs a blog!