Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Mediation Medication

So, deciding to get a divorce was a mutually painful process.  One in which I won't share here.  

But I've learned something new:  deciding to get a divorce and going to a flippin' mediator whose office is shared with a dentist while a cavity drill is screeching in between breaths of the $450 p/hour mediator who really likes to hear himself speak...

That?  Is worse.

Patrick and I were exchanging knowing glances, kicking each other to (presumably) keep the other from driving the cavity drill through the mediator's head, and even holding hands under the table.

Because That?  Was freakin' painful.

Fortunately we were given the blessing to make the next appointment a phone conference.  Where phone conference means setting down the flippin' receiver, having a couple of drinks, and coming back for the "I agree" part.

Because mediators who don't shut up?  Might actually be doing a disservice to the profession by bringing Patrick and I closer together when we are trying to divvy the shit up.

Next time a friend needs marriage counseling (yeah right, like they'd ask me), I'm referring them to mediator dude in dentist office.  They might actually walk out holding hands.


16 comments:

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

You two are giving them something to talk about--well-adjusted people acting like mature adults--I bet they don't see that much.

Chris said...

Well, for a painful situation, it's good that you were working together. You two are truly admirable.

Kelli said...

That's tough...on so many levels.

Pumpkin Delight said...

Oh, a dentist office...that's the worst part. I hate the dentist. :) I bet they have some good drugs for you though.

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

Can Kate and I be your next spouses?

Because that? Would be great.

Krystyn said...

I'm so glad to hear that it is so amicable...and who knows the dentist drill might work.

katydidnot said...

oh shoot. i had something really great to say. but my wife already said it.

Kori said...

Just continuing to hold you in my thoughts.

Miss M said...

Congrats for making a usually rough process a smooth transition. Your children will have so much appreciation for it in the future. My parents made a rather smooth transition, and were incredibly civil to each other (and still are 24 years later!) and it means the world to me.

Life As I Know It said...

Oh my, that sounds awful!
Good for you guys for getting through it together. You two sound very level headed...an admirable quality - especially when going through a divorce.

CRigg said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
CRigg said...

Thinking of you, Jamie.
C

Burgh Baby said...

Y'all rock for acting like grown-ups through the whole thing. Just try not to use the drill on the mediators eyes. That might leave a mark.

queenofphrump said...

Just arrived from the link over at The Show. As you may know, I am his ex-wife. We had an amicable divorce yet the transition was still difficult. Thank you for sharing your journey in this venue because it will help others see that it can be done. You can do this! Putting the children first and helping them feel that they do not have to choose sides will be the greatest gift you give them aside from just loving them.

Kat said...

Haha! I know exactly what you are talking about.
My hubby does divorce work (I think I told you that already) and has actually gotten quite a few couples back together. He has decided to do mediation work too since he thinks he can have a calming affect on people. For SOME REASON they make attorneys take classes on how to mediate (which makes me freaking laugh). He had to sit for FOUR long days listening to a bunch of crap from a mediator that didn't know what she was talking about. He could have taught the class and the teacher was a joke. Probably much like the mediator you had to listen to. So crazy.

Good for you two for dealing so well with such a difficult situation!

Saucy said...

I had a "lawyer" whose real calling in life was to be a "mediator" and he did neither job well. I fired it and mediated it myself, to better satisfaction.

Because That? Was a necessity.