Saturday, September 6, 2008

How Does This Work?

I've survived my first week back.  I haven't taught full-time since the kids were born, which reminds me, their birthday is coming up.  Guess who took over birthday party duties?  The husband.  Guess who took the kids to their first day of Junior Kindergarten at their new school?  The husband.  Guess who is taking them to their 4 year-old check up?  The husband.  Guess who packed lunches and made dinner this week?  The husband.  Guess who is taking Chase to get his hair cut?  The husband.  And do you know what?

It's really hard to let go.

I miss my Mommy duties.  I miss waking up and reading blogs.  I miss making the birthday party details come to life, chatting with the neighbors, taking the kids swimming mid-day, going to the library to hear some cheesy puppet show.  I miss it all.

If you've been pulling this off all along, Dude, you rock.  Because this.is.hard.

But it will all iron itself out.  It's a matter of getting efficient, getting into a routine, getting a solid system figured out.

Sorry to whine.  I had hoped to be my snarky self.  I'm barely hanging on right now.  And the husband.  The helpful one.  Yeah, he leaves tonight for 5 nights.  There was a time I celebrated this alone time.  But today, I'm feeling a bit anxious about the whole thing.

Here's the good news, the kids are thriving at their new school.  It's a fantastic place with fantastic teachers.  I know they are in good hands, and they love it.  And Patrick even took pictures for me of their first day at school ...

Wanna see?




Note to self:  Next time, give Patrick the point-and-shoot.  

34 comments:

Lori said...

no stress... things will smooth out soon enough

just enjoy your weekend and be grateful that you have a husband who can take over those chores

Tiffany said...

Oh, sweet Jamie... It will all work itself out. I have been in this mode for so long, but in reading your words and emotion behind them, I am taken back. It is so hard to let go of certain things. I had to force myself to always remind myself of the quality over quantity thing, but there are still moments that I want to be the one making the lunches and taking them to school.

So hang in there - It will get better and your kids will thrive and grow and the love doesn't change. You will figure it all out, because that is the kind of person you are!

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I'd have to agree that he's not quite the photographer you are!

I hope it all falls into place quickly. I know I would have had a very hard time with the letting go thing also.

Amber M. said...

Hang in there, lady! Pretty soon, your routine will be set and Patrick will be just a lovely accessory again. :-)

Karen said...

It'll get better. And look on the bright side - a husband that's more involved is always a bonus.

katydidnot said...

patrick, patrick, patrick. oy.

Lisa@verybusymomwith4 said...

Oh tell me he took other pics PLEASE!
Everything will fall together---change is always hard at first. it will get better :)

Krystyn said...

Oh, I can't imagine really letting go, and I never really got to stay home.

It seems like your hubby is doing a GREAT job (well, except the picture part)...but the important thing is that he tried, right?

Kristen said...

Like all things in life it is a transition. Pretty soon it will be hard to remember how it was before! :)

Hang in there, and remember we are always here to listen and cheer you on!

You can totally do it, and your kids still know that they are by far the most important things in your life, even if you aren't the one picking out every detail.

Get some rest, and it will all work out. Thinking of you while Patrick is out of town. Hoping he brings you another cute stash of clothes like he did last time! :)

CRigg said...

Jamie! So good to hear from you again. And yes, you will settle in. You **can** be a hawt working momma of twins and balance-it-all, dammit. It might take a a while to get to the routine part, but you will get through it and find your way.

This has been my life now for almost 4 years now and sometimes I want to cry when I can't do everything and other times, I take a deep breath and say to myself "it's ok...this is the best i can be right now."

It's kinda fun and fulfilling, in a different kind of way. And think about it this way, you are spreading the love/work to other people in your family who can do what you used to be able to do. It's good for you/your twins/your support network.

AND, you are doing this for YOU, too - most importantly.

See you soon! (when are we getting together again?!)

Clarissa

The Girl Next Door said...

Oh Yes, I remember the first year I went back to work and hubby and I switched roles - he worked part time doing the breakfast/lunch/dinner/school thingy while I pretty much worked. I was really hard. Not being the one in the car hearing the stories of the day. Missing the smiles and awe when they discover something new. But there were upsides. I had more patience. The kids had more appreciation for me. THe hubby got a chance to forge a stronger bond with his kids. We were able to try new things and have new adventures. And ultimately I learned that my secret, deep down fears of wanting to work because I didn't really want to be a full time mommy were so wrong. I loved being a mommy. Heck, it's still my favorite career. But I learned that for some inexplicable reason, being a lawyer-mom makes me a better mom. You will get that balance. And Patrick will learn to take photos.....we hope.

chris said...

Routine is the key... You'll get it all figured out eventually. Take care of yourself too!

Amy said...

You are so lucky to have a husband who steps up like that! You can't do it all, enjoy his help. It all balances out in the end.

Jamie said...

Hi Jamie. Just ran across your blog and thought I would comment. I, also, was a teacher but now I am home for the second year as a stay at home mom. I can imagine that going back is tough and I have to commend you. I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old. I worked until I had my 1 year old, and I know going back to work with a little one at home was difficult. Just remember this (I always told myself this and it honestly helped me)...in the type of world we live in chances are our daughters will be working moms and our sons will have to manage with wives that work. It is now more of a social norm than it was when we were young. You are teaching them NOW how to balance things. You are teaching them how to make time for family, for fun, as well as for work. These are crucial skills for people to have...learning to balance life is not something that is just a God given trait - it has to be taught.

I hope this helps you!!

Jamie

Jasmine said...

Oh Jamie... I feel for you girl! I am so dreading going back to work, but that is what I did when Diego was 3 months old and what I will need to do with Leo now being 3 months old too... it is so HARD! But, I have no choice... well, I guess I have a choice, we could live in another state that isn't so darn expensive... but I don't want to! So, this is my only choice...
But take comfort in knowing that your kiddos are in good hands and I know mine will be too. (Grandma is our babysitter 3 days a week... the other 2 days we haven't figured out quite yet).
Maybe someday you'll go back to being a full-time *mommy*, but I think you are going to love the new arrangement just as much in time. I've seen you in action and you are a fantastic teacher and love what you do... you'll survive!
Talk soon...

Tiaras & Tantrums said...

isn't each day better than the one before??
Love the pictures!!! ha ha ha

dkuroiwa said...

Oh Jamie!! I remember how it felt going back to work each time after having the boys...it was hard. BUT...it all starts to fall into place once everyone gets accustomed to how it is done. And yes, you are lucky to have Patrick (not so good pictures and all!)...a family learns to rely on everyone, not just mom, in this kind of situation...hang in there...you'll start to do some of those things that you miss doing...it'll just take a little time to figure out 'when' you can do them.
It'll work out...and Jamie...you're doing great!!

Wendi said...

Jamie,
You seem like one got-it-all-together mommy.
I am sure it all will very soon.
Hang in there.
Um, yeah...the point and shoot for sure.
Those photos are hilarious.
The last time I asked my husband to take photos...they were clear, but you couldn't tell who was in the picture it was so far away. He never used the zoom...ugh!

Angela said...

glad you have support

and all seems to be going well

Hope you start feeling a bit better about everything soon

Mel, A Dramatic Mommy said...

It will definitely get easier! If you need a hand just yell.

Stephanie said...

Aww! I don't feel like you are whining at all. That would all be very hard for anyone I think. You are doing well!

5 nights?! Wow...I hate when my hubby is gone that long too. It makes it a lot harder.

Loving the back to school pictures ;)

Burgh Baby said...

You have started things off EXACTLY right. The key to surviving working and taking care of kids is to make sure that the husband helps out. Let him keep some/most of those tasks and you'll be just fine in the long run. If you survive five nights by yourself . . .

OHmommy said...

LOL. Tell Patrick the pictures are lovely.

Im sure things will be fine once a routine is established. Hang in there. Ill be back in work when Fifi is in preschool. ;)

Sincerely Anna said...

I was thinking about you this wknd hoping you posted about the first week. I can imagine it's tough to transition into a new role, but everything will be great! I just know it.

Lisa said...

First off - your hubby is fabulous! Thank God for that! Better that he's helpful than trying to make a living as a photographer!

Second, I can't imagine how hard it must be. I think becoming a mother in ways is like being torn in half. There's the old you - pre-kid person, and then you're they're mom. I'm sure you're all adjusting though & I'm so glad the kiddos are loving their school.

PS - How are the kids in your room?

Kori said...

Well, if I had a husband I would have NO PROBLEM letting him do some if not all of those things; I understnad and here the bitterseweet tone in your voice, though, and hope that the transition goes smoothly for all of you.

tommie said...

While I can't say that I know your pain, I can feel for you!

Those shots are priceless! Sorry to say it but I did laugh!

Hilary said...

The photos cracked me up.

CC said...

dude, how did you get the husband to do all that??

I just survived my first week of school too (hubby is a stay at home dad). But, who makes dinner, packs lunches, and plans Marvel Girl's upcoming bday party? me!

Mary said...

Hang in there. It's so hard to let go of these things but it will get better :) For us, it's all about organization and routine. M-F is a rat race but I think we certainly enjoy our weekends more :)

San Diego Momma said...

It took me awhile to get into the swing of things when I left my job to work at home and be with the kids...and I imagine it will be the same for you!

You'll get there!

Lindsey said...

It will get easier...I think, I hope. I worked with one baby and it was hard, but mine was a little, bitty baby (still getting up at night). I wish you all the luck! What a wonderful difference you are making to those precious students!

P.S. Loved the pics:) Totally what my hubby would do!

My Ice Cream Diary said...

I'm glad you at least have enough snarkiness in your to show those photos. Too funny.

Growth hurts. That is why I have a really hard time doing anything above the bare minimum. I'm a wimp. But you? You rock! Hang in there. I hope it gets easier.

utmommy said...

I can't even imagine going to work full time. It sure would be tuff. I hope things ease up at bit, but at least you have a hubby who is stepping up. At least with everything but the photos:)