Did You Hear the One about Super Scribbler That Walks Into A Therapists' Office?

I've been in need of some good blog material.  And lucky for me I got tagged.  Usually, I'm a wee bit snarky with being tagged.  I have a hard time following the rules, and I don't like being told what to do.   Go figure.

Since that hasn't changed, and I'm grateful for the tag, here goes:

Chris at Finding My Way (love that title, by the way), AND Jennifer at Crazy, Magic, Sometimes Hectic, Beautiful Life (Um, yeah, that about sums it up, eh?) both tagged me with the same one.  Love that!  I'm feeling all efficient and sh*t getting them both done!  Chris is a doll.  She has a darling little son, Jack, and is a teacher -- of that number-like thing...I think it's called Math.  So many kudos to her.  And Jennifer not only has twins, but she threw another one in there too.  Sheez.  Over-achiever!  Please stop by. 

So this is the 7 Random things tag.  I think I'm supposed to list 7 random things about myself, and tag 7 people or something... (how am I doing so far?  Still reading?).

So I'm tweaking this a bit into 7 Random Reasons Why I Need A Good Therapist:

1.  I dream about having more babies ALL. THE. TIME.  Last night I had a peach-fuzzed, blonde little girl that I kept throwing up into the air because she was asking me to.  Yup.  The baby.  I knew she was mine, but I didn't know her name.    

2.  I totally want to be past-life regressed.

3.  I hate dirty hands and feet.  I wash my hands maniacally, and when I carry baby wipes to wash my feet on flip-flop days.  

4.  I've googled all of my exes.  Heh.  

5.  My dog knows my mood better than I do.  If she's under the bed, I guess that means I should have crawled under there with her.

6.  I organize my kids' toys.  Art supplies no exception.  I actually head out shopping in search of a new "puffy ball" tin, or "googly eye bin."  Markers must be sorted by brand, size, and thickness.  EVERYthing has its place.  Fun times.  (See playroom for neurotic exhibit A.  Wish I had a shot of the "creation station.")

7.   I still think that for a short period, when I was five, I could hover.  I floated, in a doorway.  Totally.  I think I was magic.  

There you have it.  I'm taking recommendations for meds I may need to discover.  

As for the tagging part, if you dig it, please join in.

But wait, the fun is not over, I was also given a hugely generous gift from the ever-so-lovely Jason at The Jason Show.  Does it get much better than this?  I really think it must have been Jason's hunky stand-in that truly gave me this award (not to be outdone by Jason's uber-hunkiness, himself).  Because my lack of quality bogging has been rather apparent these days, okay, months...

However, since I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, Jason, I accept.  Thank you my friend.  Please check him out.  The most loveable family man you may ever meet.  And by family, of course I mean, an ex-wife, a handful of children, an English-as-a-Third-Language (hunky) partner, and all the mixings for some truly fine comedic relief.  

Allow me to flaunt:

I'm passing this one along to:

Clarissa, at A Working Mom's Playground because this mother of beautiful boy/girl twins has heart and soul, creativity and drive, persistence and motivation all of which I admire and envy.  Please check her out.  

Do You Want To Hear My Acceptance Speech?

I suck.

There you have it.  

I have received some awards, like maybe a month ago (or more, okay yes, more) and it's time to show my thanks.  

Color me conceited, but I'm going to let myself off the hook, and take the nature of giving and receiving literally and say, thank you, sincerely, for allowing me to covet and cherish these awards, and now, please, allow me pass them along.  

There were probably some rules that went along with these and I'm totally blowing it.  But probably, they were this:

1)  Enjoy

2)  Share

(...or something like that.)

Lisa at Very Busy Mom With 4 awarded me with the loveliest little thing:

Aw, isn't it purdy?  I'm so proud.  Lisa is a hoot.  I don't think I've ever said that before, so I'll say it again, a hoot!  (That feels good.)  She travels with really old people, hangs out with 4 little young people, watches Malcolm in the Middle, and always makes me mute my volume because Josh Groban interferes with my reading of her daily musings.  Check out her post where she comes clean and admits she has a blog!

I would like to pass along the Sharing The Love Award to:

Krystyn at Really, Are You Serious?  Krystyn is adorable, has an adorable daughter, and an adoring husband (okay, I'll say it, he's adorable too), and a soon-to-be adorable baby on the way.  She leaves sweet comments, lubes up, and even lets her kid figure sh*t out for herself.  I dig that.  Please say hello.  

And, I'm sending it along to Lindsey at Douglas Drama.  Lindsey is a true sweetheart.   Like a modern day Disney Princess.  She is easy to relate to, funny, sassy, and has two darling, DARLING little angels.  Lindsey is also renovating a house and moving with these angels, so please take some love Lindsey!

Kristen, oh Kristen how do I love thee?  She sent along this cool baby:

Kristen at Loving Our Simple Life is one of those bloggers that remind us that we are not alone in the big ol' world of parenting.  Her kids are delicious, she shares before-and-after hair pics, and she's taken her kids to her parents for A MONTH!  Thank you Kristen!

I'd like to share the Must-See Blog Award with:

The one and only Burgh Baby's Mom is a TOTAL Must-See!  She says it like it is and just rocks me every time.  Although I give her no credit for her freaky-ass crazy baby games she plays with us, the rest of it is just golden.  If Burgh Baby lived closer I swear I'd kidnap her (don't contact authorities, I meant adopt her) because she is one coolio kid, like her mama.  Check out Burgh Baby.  Just don't blame me for the nightmares.  

And also to two total camera babes:  Tommie at Tuesday Update.  Tommie is a Must-See literally because she shoots the most beautiful damn pictures.  Her and MamaGeek at What Works For Us just drive me crazy with their mad camera skills.  Seriously.  Stop it!  Okay, don't.  But take the award, please.  

Wendi at Because Wendi Said So gave me this cutie-patootie.  Yes she did.  And I am so loving her blog to pieces.  Uh-huh.  Wendi cracks me up.  She has a great outlook on life, her son's name is Chase (hello? I'm kind of fond of that), she hooks me up with prizes (maybe I won fair and square, but I think she rigged it for me), and she makes me smile every dang time I read her.  Thanks Wendi!

So I'm passing along the Love You To Pieces Award to Karen at The Rocking Pony.  Karen keeps it real.  She gardens.  I know nothing about those leafy things, but I dig reading about hers (or at least seeing those garden-y things grow and stuff).  She talks about her peeling boobies, her crazy kidlets, and how she manages it all with like a farm and stuff.  Like totally.  Plus she has the most rockin' T-shirt designs which I guess I'm just going to have to buy one of these days because they are so freakin' smart!

(Okay, time-out.  I have a few more to share but I want to do it right and my kids are like locked in their room and stuff so I can blog.  Guess I ought to let them out.)  

I've got a wee bitty favor to ask of you.  Can you please check out my BlogRoll and tell me if you'd like to be added?  I just know I have many of you on my Google Reader but have mistakenly forgotten to add you to my BlogRoll.  Or come on out like Tiffany did and tell me you've been reading.  The guilt of (potentially) leaving my peeps is causing me to lose sleep.  Zzzzz...

You still there?

Okay, the music has long since played me off the stage.  I get it.

****************************************

Wait.  I forgot about my own contest.  Remember the Caption This Giveaway?  You don't?  Oh, well, that's because it was like forever ago.  Well, Trish chose the winner and it is hereby dubbed as Kathryn, funny woman.

She said, "Ugh.  My butt STILL itches and now it's full of sand too."  

Hee Hee.  His butt was all itchy.  Itchy butts are funny.

Kathryn, please email me and I'll send you Randy Pausch's Last Lecture.  

I must say, honorable mention goes to Jennifer.  She referenced her grandma's dog dragging its ass across the carpet.  She was afraid she offended me comparing a dog's ass to my son.  Sheez.  Right.  :)  I nearly peed my pants.  

Meme Rhymes with Theme

(It took me a while to learn that.  I thought it was a me-me, because isn't everything all about ME?  No.  Oh.  Damn-it.  Well, it is here.)

Lori at Teacher Turned Mommy tagged me with this Meme.  The thing is, I suck at memes.  

Here are the rules (WARNING:  I'm not good at playing by the rules.)

a.  Link the person who tagged you.  (I did that.)

b.  Post the rules on your blog. (I'm two for two now.)

c.  Write six random things about yourself. (This is where the rules get foggy.)

d.  Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.   (How random?  Like, totally random, with no thought on my part at all.... okay.)

e.  Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment at their blog.  (No can do.)

f.  Let your tagger know when your entry is up.  (What do you take me for?  A total slacker?)

Here are SIX places that I've been blessed enough to visit.  Although I'm all for bragging, this isn't to brag, just to document.  Before my Mommy brain cells are all used up.  And I forget.  

Where was I?

Paris, France

London, England

Florence, Italy

Venice, Italy

Rome, Italy

(Orange hair?  WTF?)

New York, NY

Munich, Germany (That's my cute Mom)

(I'm not that skinny.  The beers were just freakishly proportioned.)

(Pretzels and Beers)

Amsterdam, Holland

And now I'm tagging 6 "random" people:  If your name is Susan, Martha, Hannah, George, Adele, or Ian I tag you.  (Totally random.  I don't think I know them.  In fact, I know I don't.  But, it's a good way to get to know you if that's your name.)

Lori also bestowed this beauty on my.  Although I'm totally unworthy because I just screwed up your meme.  But thank you.  Check Lori out.  She is a Teacher turned Mommy just like me.  Her son is adorable.  She does digital scrap-booking.  She's about to pop out baby boy #2.  And she's great at leaving comments.  

I love this flowery award because it proclaims friendship in this cyber world.  I've come to LOVE all of you in this blog land.  So again, I'm cheating on the rules.  If you and I read one another's blog (that's a lot of you lovely people out there), I give this Blog Friend Award to you.  Yes, YOU!  Take it.  Share it.

And CC over at If I Only Had SuperPowers gave this sweet one to me.  The story goes that it's a "laugh, cry, think, or sigh" award.  CC says I make her laugh.  Are you good in math?  That means I got one quarter of this award.  THAT'S sayin' something.  What's it saying?  Please check out CC for her expertise in Speech and Language, her What Works For Me ideas, and her general KICK-A** approach at helping the world one teaching tip at a time.  I think she really does have Superpowers!

I'm passing along this one to Burgh Baby's Mom because I have a blog crush on her.  She was just on her local news bragging about how great her blog was, drumming up AdSense and all, so I figure I'd help her out.  Nah, she really does make me "laugh, cry, think, or sigh," especially when she puts those creepy dolls on her site.

Do I Smell Something FREE?

Two shameless plugs and evidence of my poor Mothering from me to you.  

It's Giveaway time over at Trish's Blog.  Jump over for some Bloggy Bling (to YOU) and a giveaway.  I really am showing up in this in a future post. 

I also received the cutest Blog Award yet.  Thank you to OhMommy at Classy Chaos in a big puffy heart kind of way for this.  OhMommy is not only classy, but writes with wit, warmth, and charm.  That woman is good.  I bet she even vacuums in high heels.  Damn her.

It's so fun being a giver, and now I pass this along to Amy who is all about family, photos, kindness, and real puffy heart sweetness, not the sweet n' low kind either.  The real deal.

Laskigal is one of those blogger friends you know you could just invite yourself over last minute, open the fridge, grab a snack, plop and the couch for some good conversation.  She'd welcome you, I know she would.  You might have to side-step some of Baby J's toys, but that's what makes her a puffy heart kind of girl.

And Lindsey is the kind of sweet that gives you a sweet tooth.  You just keep heading back for more.  More sweet Mommy, more sweet little girls, more sweet pre-school talk, sweet teacher talk, sweet idea talk.  My teeth are aching just thinking of her puffy heart kind of sweetness.

Really, I puffy heart you all.  Really, I do.  YOU.

Speaking of all that sweet talk, check out what a bad Mommy I am.  Do you know what this is?

This is a picture of my son, getting laughing gas, to fix his CAVITY.  He's 3.  Ugh.

Here's the thing.  This was too easy.  Like easier than dragging two munchkins through a grocery store for sure.

He was great.  She was great.  We were all great.  Piece of cake.  Well, maybe um ... piece of something more dentally appropriate, like an apple.

See.  Easy.  Never mind that he's still high.

So then, we get home and I found this scene in their bathroom.  We have two children, but SEVEN toothbrushes, and three tubes of toothpaste.  No kidding.  You may think I staged this photo.  Nah.  I would have wiped the smudges first at least.  So I guess the cavity did make a bit of an impression after all.

Taking Care of Business

As I'm trying to learn Google Reader, keep my kids down for a nap, fold laundry, and balance a fish bowl on an umbrella (wait, that was The Cat in the Hat) I've decided to make time to brag, talk about myself, and brag a little more.  Who doesn't have time for that?  You? Oh, well I'll read it out loud to myself when I'm done.

I'm blushing over my new bling.  Is it a sparkling necklace, a new Hybrid car, an Apple iPhone (hint, hint Mr. Husband) that I must show off today?  Nope, it's better.  

It's THIS:

Lindsey at The Douglas Drama   bestowed this gorgeous gem upon my side banner.  Lindsey is a true sweet heart, so it doesn't surprise me that she's handing out the love.  She's a teacher, she's witty, and she's raising some darling Southern girls.  Please pay her a visit.  

Okay, so really, I had to ask.  I've seen it before and I really couldn't figure out how it was a compliment to say that you Less Than Three someone.  Less than?  Like I like at least three others better, and then you?  But, duh, no, it's sweet and if you're in the back of the classroom wanting to raise your hand to ask, but you're too damn embarrassed because that cute  dumb jock   guy might laugh ... well, it's a HEART. Ain't that sweet?

I'm passing this lover along to "My Misty."  Misty is my Blog BFF.  I adore her strength and I know many of you are already big fans.  Check her out, but I've got first dibs on her so don't go trying to steal her.  

It's also going to Cheri at Blog This Mom!  She is a witty one.  Check her out, but cross your legs first because she often makes me wet my pants.  

CAUTION:  More bragging ahead...

I also received THIS sweet thang:

This lovey is from Angela at Angela's Chocolate and Potatoes.  You know my crush on her.  I spilled those beans here.  

So I'm passing this one along to Jenn at Juggling Life who is a true blogxpert (that's a Blog Expert for those of you who aren't familiar with my made-up language).  She's been in the Blog World for 100 days today.  That's 100 days of humor, motherly expertise, political rants, and teacher advice.  

And Katydidnot as in  Katydidnot get left out of the Wonderful Women award.  This is one inspirational woman.  I love her style.  Her hair style, her smile style, her home decor style, and her 3 smartie pants kids' style.  

And finally, Lisa at VeryBusyMomWith4 tagged me with this meme.  

Share seven things, according to the tag "some random, some weird."  Check out Lisa, especially how she changed her kids names, all 4 of them, well, sort of.  Funny.

Are you just dying to read more about me today? Wouldn't want to disappoint.

MEME:

1.  I'm still afraid that someone is under my bed.  I take a running leap at night so no one grabs my ankles and sucks me under.

2.  I love being a grown-up.  The best part.  I can eat dessert whenever I want, even for dinner.

3.  I'm have been married twice.

4.  I cry at all Disney movies.

5.  I still type with 2 fingers, 4 on a good day.

6.  I would love for our family to adopt a child some day.  

7.  I have 2 tattoos.  I got the first when I was 17, the second when I was 22.  

Don't you wish they made Cliff Notes for this?