If Only...

The thing is... I can post happy vacation photos but...

But...

Maybe it's just that coming home from a trip on a Sunday night and going to work on a Monday morning don't really go well together.

Or maybe it's that I sit in a house with piles of mail and laundry and papers to be graded and lunches to pack and photos to organize and kids to play with and blogs to read and I just feel overwhelmed.

Maybe it's that I haven't been entirely honest with everyone around me and it's starting to get to me, or that I have been entirely honest with those around me and it's starting to get to me.

Maybe it's just a silent ache within...because really, I know, I know what I want.

If only...

Dude, Just Call it What It Is

Oh the joys of magazine subscriptions.  Love the mailbox full of glossy faces of bright eyed babes.  But seriously?  These days?  Like I have time to read them.  Pshaw.

But, I can't keep myself away from the dang back page.  What is it about the so-called "Baby Bloopers" that draw me in?  Like I haven't read every combination of child said embarrassing statement (insert: in line at grocery store/at great-grand-nana's house/in front of teacher).  Just like I have probably seen every episode of A Baby Story, I have also read every possible combination blooper.

Or so I thought.

Because now?  Now, it seems that each story has got to be the biggest ol' bragfest evah.  Like even more than a (gasp) blog.  :)

They all come with obnoxiously braggy-odd names.  And they all seem to be doing obnoxiously more bragalicious-odd stuff.

Example:  Last week my daughter Suri-Reese was getting a tad tired while waiting for her older brother Socrates Phoenix to finish his Mandarin Jumprope lessons.  Poor Suri-Reese was past her nap time and almost out of organic goat's milk cheese puffs.  Much to my dismay, would you believe it?  Suri-Reese, a mere 13 months old, actually (gasp) peed in her hand-made overalls.  I mean, can you believe my embarrassment?  She has been potty-trained for 6 months, and then this?  Did I mention it was during Mandarin Jumprope lessons?  

Or:  When my Mother-In-Law was visiting us from Ireland, my 2 and a half year old son Daiytona was demonstrating his recitation of The Constitution.  Suddenly my Mother-in-Law went into cardiac arrest.  Daiytona called for his his 4 year old sister, Ameelyia, who was doing tai chi at the time, to grab the defibrillator to help Grand-Nana.  In the meantime, Daiytona performed CPR but, forgot the proper compression to ventilation ratio!  Fortunately, Ameelyia and Daiytona's younger sister Shamalie, 9 months was able to successfully call 911.  Grand-Nana still laughs at Daiytona's silly mistake!

For crying out loud.  Just call it  "Does Your Child Have This Many Vowels In Her Name, and How Shitty of A Parent Are You?"

Yeah, I'm all talk though.  Next month, I'll be turning straight to the back cover, again.  

Did You Hear the One about Super Scribbler That Walks Into A Therapists' Office?

I've been in need of some good blog material.  And lucky for me I got tagged.  Usually, I'm a wee bit snarky with being tagged.  I have a hard time following the rules, and I don't like being told what to do.   Go figure.

Since that hasn't changed, and I'm grateful for the tag, here goes:

Chris at Finding My Way (love that title, by the way), AND Jennifer at Crazy, Magic, Sometimes Hectic, Beautiful Life (Um, yeah, that about sums it up, eh?) both tagged me with the same one.  Love that!  I'm feeling all efficient and sh*t getting them both done!  Chris is a doll.  She has a darling little son, Jack, and is a teacher -- of that number-like thing...I think it's called Math.  So many kudos to her.  And Jennifer not only has twins, but she threw another one in there too.  Sheez.  Over-achiever!  Please stop by. 

So this is the 7 Random things tag.  I think I'm supposed to list 7 random things about myself, and tag 7 people or something... (how am I doing so far?  Still reading?).

So I'm tweaking this a bit into 7 Random Reasons Why I Need A Good Therapist:

1.  I dream about having more babies ALL. THE. TIME.  Last night I had a peach-fuzzed, blonde little girl that I kept throwing up into the air because she was asking me to.  Yup.  The baby.  I knew she was mine, but I didn't know her name.    

2.  I totally want to be past-life regressed.

3.  I hate dirty hands and feet.  I wash my hands maniacally, and when I carry baby wipes to wash my feet on flip-flop days.  

4.  I've googled all of my exes.  Heh.  

5.  My dog knows my mood better than I do.  If she's under the bed, I guess that means I should have crawled under there with her.

6.  I organize my kids' toys.  Art supplies no exception.  I actually head out shopping in search of a new "puffy ball" tin, or "googly eye bin."  Markers must be sorted by brand, size, and thickness.  EVERYthing has its place.  Fun times.  (See playroom for neurotic exhibit A.  Wish I had a shot of the "creation station.")

7.   I still think that for a short period, when I was five, I could hover.  I floated, in a doorway.  Totally.  I think I was magic.  

There you have it.  I'm taking recommendations for meds I may need to discover.  

As for the tagging part, if you dig it, please join in.

But wait, the fun is not over, I was also given a hugely generous gift from the ever-so-lovely Jason at The Jason Show.  Does it get much better than this?  I really think it must have been Jason's hunky stand-in that truly gave me this award (not to be outdone by Jason's uber-hunkiness, himself).  Because my lack of quality bogging has been rather apparent these days, okay, months...

However, since I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, Jason, I accept.  Thank you my friend.  Please check him out.  The most loveable family man you may ever meet.  And by family, of course I mean, an ex-wife, a handful of children, an English-as-a-Third-Language (hunky) partner, and all the mixings for some truly fine comedic relief.  

Allow me to flaunt:

I'm passing this one along to:

Clarissa, at A Working Mom's Playground because this mother of beautiful boy/girl twins has heart and soul, creativity and drive, persistence and motivation all of which I admire and envy.  Please check her out.